Christmastime...oh, Christmastime.

So...
This is Christmas.

The afterglow of anti-climax is strewn with meh.

I genuinely like the Yule...I do.
It just gets...sorta thick, you know.
Sure this day is a big deal.
Why is that again?

Giving.
...How 'bout taking?
If we are really going to keep celebrating the birth of a messiah by stealing-er, I mean,
co-opting pagan tradition I feel like maybe the stealing should be the point. Or at least it should get more play.

Recieving.
Eternal life?
You know what eternal feels like? The five hours between presents and dinner.
Now that shit is eternal.

Commerce.
I'm a big fan of hypocrisy and happenstance.
It says in the Bible that tax-collectors will be condemned to hell (or at least eternal suffering).
Most purchased gifts are, of course, taxed.
Now think about all the poor shopkeepers and minimum wagers that just got lured into Lucifer's work in the name of the dude (that would be baby JC) the very act offends.
This is the kind of thing I love about people.

Goodwill.
I saw a little girl hug a homeless guy yesterday.
I thought it was sweet.
Her mom screamed at her.


I'm not actually all that cynical.
It just feels like people want a day to wash away all the bad
in a fell swoop.
A safe haven from the struggle...as if that isn't the point anyway.
A day to feel like everything is going to be alright.

A Yom Kippur for gentiles.
But...
when it turns out to be just a sort of elitist Hanukkah it's a downer.


Where is Linus and a spotlight when you need him?

Merry Christmas
Jef

A new Mantra

Here's a thing I found...


I am who I am. This is excellent.

I will not hope.
Hope is apology. Apology is weakness. Weakness sucks.
I am not weak.
Hope is the fantasy of the weak and the refuge of the failed.
I will not hope.

I will not censor myself.
It is impossible to offend those I trust.
To fear this is to destroy trust.
Trust is the vehicle of confidence.

Confidence is absolute.
Being unsure is failure. Ongoing analysis is failure.
I will not fail. I will not analyze. I will experience.
I will react. I will not manipulate.
I will be right.
I am confident.

Action is existence. Analysis is death.
Truth is in the blink of an eye, while lies fester in the conscious mind.
Reaction prolongs life. Reflection hastens its end.
If there is time to assess it’s already gone.
I will live my life. I will not kill it as I go.

I am who I am. This is excellent.

Free...freed...free-ed?

Anyway...

I had plans, now I don't.
Sunday night. Whatever.
In the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal, of course.
It is however, a furtherance of an alarming trend.

In the past seven days no less than nine people have broken eleven plans with me.

I've been trying to avoid being paranoid but this seems ridiculous.

I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing...but to no avail.

Lots in life are not always up to oneself but...too often mine seems to be vacant.

When did I become such a miserable prick?

Jef