Free...freed...free-ed?
Anyway...
I had plans, now I don't.
Sunday night. Whatever.
In the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal, of course.
It is however, a furtherance of an alarming trend.
In the past seven days no less than nine people have broken eleven plans with me.
I've been trying to avoid being paranoid but this seems ridiculous.
I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing...but to no avail.
Lots in life are not always up to oneself but...too often mine seems to be vacant.
When did I become such a miserable prick?
Jef
I had plans, now I don't.
Sunday night. Whatever.
In the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal, of course.
It is however, a furtherance of an alarming trend.
In the past seven days no less than nine people have broken eleven plans with me.
I've been trying to avoid being paranoid but this seems ridiculous.
I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing...but to no avail.
Lots in life are not always up to oneself but...too often mine seems to be vacant.
When did I become such a miserable prick?
Jef
posted by Jeff at 5:49 PM
7 Comments:
i'm sorry if i "broke" our plans, which weren't really plans, hence why i had asked you to call me about them. and maybe if you hadn't waited until 6 to call me to actually decide what we were going to do, i would have been less likely to "cancel" because we actually had plans. see, i was kinda under the impression that we were going to see a matine, but i think my brain just made that up. and when you didn't call by like 3, i figured you were busy with some myt thing and you had forgot about me. unfortunately by the time you called me i was in "i need to get out of toronto" mode. i still might not have wanted to see the movie though, regardless of when you called. i've been feeling pretty shitty lately. so it's not like it was your fault or anything. it was just a miscommunication and some bad timing.
anyway, it's not like you haven't been busy... the last few times you've talked to me (this weekend excluded) you've been out with people when you called and have been too busy to hang out with me. so if you're gonna be paranoid about this, you better adjust the numbers to not include me. i can't speak for all the other plans that were broken though.
Wow.
I thought you were working during the day.
I think we specifically spoke about an "early" evening movie (I think Studio 60 was in the conversation)...and wow...
Why are you taking my issues as an afront?
Jeff
P.S.-"Do you want to see a movie tommorrow?"
"Absolutely."
That might not be the invasion of Normandy...but it's certainly a plan.
---Plus, I wasn't even pissed off...until just now.
Wow.
i remember you saying an early movie, and i remember the whole thing about studio 60. i said "you know, we could always see a movie tomorrow." and you said yeah to that. and then i said call me tomorrow and you were all wierd about it being my turn to call. we never made specific plans other than you calling me the next day and i said nothing about working on sunday, so you must have assumed that the same way i assumed when you said early movie you meant afternoon, not early evening.
i'm not taking this as a an affront, frankly i don't really care. it's not like i'll never see you again. i was just trying to show you that maybe when you think something is a plan with me, it isn't actually a plan. i didn't think we had "plans". yeah, we had discussed it, but there wasn't a plan, there was a possibility of a plan to be determined when you called me the next day. i don't consider those plans. that's why when we were dating and you said "we'll do something" on such and such a day, i would often freak out because to me that isn't in anyway plans. plans involve an actual plan: we are going to this movie at this time. saying "we could always see a movie tomorrow" isn't a plan to me. i'm sorry if you didn't know that about me and i'm sorry if that caused this miscommunication.
also, i never accused you of being pissed off, nor did i say you shouldn't be pissed off. and even if you had been pissed off, i wasn't reacting to you being pissed off, i was trying to clarify the situation because what i got from your post was that this situation had upset you. maybe i misunderstood that, but i don't quite see any other reason for the post than the fact that this whole thing had upset you (and don't mean just me, i mean all of the plans that were canceled).
when i said "you better not include me" i meant that you shouldn't be paranoid about me not wanting to hang out with you because this wasn't about that, it was about miscommunication and bad timing. and you seem to be taking the whole miscommunication thing as an affront, when i specifically said that i had assumed certain things as well, taking responsibility for this just as much as you.
"so it's not like it was your fault or anything. it was just a miscommunication and some bad timing." i had just as much a part in that miscommunication as you did.
i know you have issues jeff. i'm just trying to show you the logic behind the situation so that you won't be paranoid about the reasons we didn't get to hang out on sunday. i'm not doing this to clear my conscience or make myself feel better, cause i didn't feel bad until i realised that you felt like i had canceled on you. i commented to try and explain the situation so that you would realise that it wasn't my intention to cancel plans and hurt your feelings, so that you would realise i didn't mean for you to get hurt. clearly, there was another miscommunication in the comment i left. and you didn't understand that i was trying to say "i didn't know you thought we had specific plans and i'm sorry if i hurt you when i unknowingly canceled them."
i'm sorry if my comment pissed you off and i'm sorry if my "canceling" on you compounded a problem that you seem to be having. that was never my intention.
i also hope that you don't see any of this as an attack on you or your character. i'm not in any way angry or frustrated right now, i'm actually quite calm and i think everything i'm saying is quite logical. please let me know if you see some sort of flaw in my logic.
That was wicked long.
I get it.
Cool.
I think I suspected.
I'm not sure you needed so many words.
Wicked long.
yeah, totally wicked long. but i didn't want to be unclear and i wasn't sure i was getting my point across... blah. i'm glad you get it.
talk to you soon babe.
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